kamerakid ([info]kamerakid) wrote,
@ 2008-10-05 22:26:00
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Current mood: curious
Current music:Goong S OST

Random thoughts, a quick entry before more homework.
Today I cleaned my room and did a lot of laundry. I did some homework yesterday. I ate dinner with my friends this evening.

And all of this is what makes me feel alive. The drama makes me want to be a good person, but the things that really happened are what make me feel like I may someday achieve that goal. I don't know that I can become a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, or anything else helpful. But at the very least, I'm becoming human little by little. And that's a start.

Sure my family's been cut completely out of the picture for now, and friendships are practically on hiatus. In fact, I may end up becoming a recluse/hermit as a result of my efforts to become a real person. But I'm more satisfied with myself right now than I've ever been in my conscious memory. And that has to mean something, right?

Next goals? Figure out what I want to do (what is it I care about in this world? what can I do that makes my life have meaning?). Go to the gym. Apply for my summer plans. Get in touch with people again. Develop such a busy schedule I can't answer my phone. Become smarter and happier and more beautiful than I've ever been before. Master Chinese. Master happiness. Succeed at family. Love someone as much as I possibly can?

We'll see.




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that is great
[info]drunk_irishman
2008-10-09 02:11 am UTC (link)
I am going thru something simalar though I have 2 firends, lost my love, job and feel as I am floating trying to find ground. Do not let anything stop you from being who you are taking me I have been pretending for 23yrs to be someone I am not. If someone does not like you for who you are they are not worth your time. Your happiness should be before any other, assuming it does not mean killing or something severe. I wish you luck with all that you are working thru and that though I may not be close by I will always be around if you want any help.

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